Louise Redknapp’s troubling fear after split from Jamie who she’ll ‘always love’

When Louise Redknapp ended her 19-year marriage to Jamie three years ago, it knocked her for six.

The collapse of one of showbiz’ seemingly most solid marriages came as a shock to many, including to Louise.

But years of isolation as a stay-at-home mum – who turns 46 today – had left her feeling frustrated and her confidence levels were on the floor.

And as Jamie’s career as a TV pundit continued to soar, the former Eternal star realised that she, too, needed to focus on her own dreams, having previously quit music to raise their two sons.

A successful stint on Strictly Come Dancing in December 2016 proved to be the catalyst for change, and by the following Christmas, Louise, 45, and Jamie were bravely navigating a painful divorce.

But while the star was excited about relaunching her career, she was understandably frightened about life without the loving safety net of her 19-year marriage.

“I’m scared about the future. Jamie and I have got to a really positive place with each other. But I don’t know what life is going to be like,” she told You magazine in March 2019.

“I’m nervous about work and career and all those things, because I’m not young. And people are judgmental.”

While she was the one who filed for divorce, the end of their seemingly rock-solid romance nevertheless hit Louise for six.

Admitting it came as a “shock”, while she has never divulged the exact reason, she has been open about wanting to escape her “Stepford Wife” role.

With nothing to do while sons Charley, 16, and Beau, 11, were at school and forced to watch Jamie live the life she wanted for herself, Louise’s self-esteem took a beating.

That was until Strictly Come Dancing “put the fire” in her belly and inspired her to finally pursue her own dreams.

What followed were successful stints in West End shows Cabaret and 9 to 5, as well as her comeback album, Heavy Love.

However, London-born Louise once shared her deep regret about the way things had been handled, admitting she wishes she’d felt more able to share her secret desires to be back on the stage.

Describing her marriage to Jamie as “traditional”, the star previously explained how she kept her confidence crisis hidden out of fear people “would think I was nuts.”

“I wish I’d been able to just speak up. For a long time it was easy to blame him,” she said.

“But it was down to me to say, ‘Something’s not right. My self-esteem is really struggling. I’ve got no passion.

“I wish I’d just gone, ‘Right, the kids are getting older, and I love my job and I’m going to give it a real go, and Jamie, if you don’t like it, tough. But if you do like it, let’s talk about it.'”

Her biggest regret, she told the Guardian, was not opening up, because if she had then “at least I’d have known I tried.”

And the pain of their split is something that will stay with Louise for the rest of her life.

“I still love him. After 21 years together how could I not still love him? He’s the father of my boys. Jamie’s a great dad,” she previously told Hello! magazine.

In spring 2018 she revealed she was struggling to move on, admitting it had been two years since she’d last had dinner with a man.

And she recently told the Mirror that she fears she’ll be single forever.

Louise said: “I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to have a boyfriend. I still haven’t been on a date.

“First of all the 16-year-old is like, ‘How are they going to get past me?’

“Sometimes I say, ‘How would you feel if I went on a date?’ and they say, ‘I don’t want to talk about it!’

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