Backstreet Boys’ AJ McLean tried cocaine for first time before music video shoot
Backstreet Boys singer AJ McLean, who has been open about his past struggles with addiction, says he tried cocaine for the first time ever before shooting the music video for song The Call
Backstreet Boys star AJ McLean has opened up about the first time he ever took cocaine – right before filming a music video.
The 42-year-old singer, who has been very honest about his past struggles with addiction, says he first tried the drug 20 years ago before starring in music video The Call with his bandmates.
In a candid interview, AJ has detailed how he kept his substance abuse a secret from his loved ones for months before finally seeking treatment.
His years-long battle with addiction started on the night he was filming for The Call, and he ended up “freaking out” after taking cocaine for the first time.
He confessed to People : “I never really had a desire for the drugs, but being an addict — to me, that word encompasses everything.
“I was introduced to cocaine literally the night that we shot the video for The Call. It was the first time I ever tried it because it was a late-night shoot. I was with a ‘friend’ at the time — who’s clearly not a friend anymore — and offered it to me. I said, ‘No.’ Then I caved and I did it.”
He added: “When I showed up on set and I got in the makeup chair, I told everybody. I was like, ‘I’m freaking out. I’m on this. I’m on that’. They were like, ‘You need to stop. Don’t tell the world that you’re on drugs right now’.
“Somehow someway, I kept it a secret from everyone for the next at least 18 months before the boys caught on, before my family caught on, before my real friends caught on. I found a way to really keep it under the rug.”
AJ, who is currently competing on Dancing With The Stars, said that he didn’t see sunlight for years because of his drug abuse.
He’d go to bed as the sun was rising and sleep until it went down.
He said that the definition of insanity is “repeating the same mistakes over and over and expecting different results” and that that’s what he did for two years.
The star said he believed that drugs and alcohol would make his feelings of insecurity go away and that it took him a long time to realise that they wouldn’t.
It was on July 8, 2001 when the other Backstreet Boys – Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell and Kevin Richardson – confronted AJ and encouraged him to get help.
AJ said their message finally sunk in when Kevin told him if he continued to use drugs: “I will never trust you again. You’re dead to me.”
He sought treatment but fell in and out of sobriety over the next 20 years, before one final wake up call in December, last year.
AJ was heading to Las Vegas to see Shania Twain and had his whole evening mapped out – planning ahead where he’d get his drugs and where he was going to get drunk.
The dad-of-two said he was convinced he could do drugs without his wife Rochelle finding out.
But when he missed two flights and finally got home stinking of alcohol, his wife woudn’t let him play with his daughters Ava, six, and Lyric, three, as per an agreement they’d previously made.
He said when Lyric told him “You don’t smell like my daddy” he realised he needed to make a change.
AJ described it as his “moment of surrender”.
He’s now attending daily 12-step meetings online and checks in with his sponsor six times a day.
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