Joan Collins’ daughter learned about sex by peeking at aunt Jackie’s racy novels

Here, author Tara Arkle, 56, in her own words, spills the beans on what it was like really having the legendary Joan Collins as a mum, and shares the lessons she’s learned in life.

Resilience and hard work are crucial.

Mum taught me that. Success wasn’t handed to her on a plate. Regardless of the ups and downs in life, she carried on. Her success in Dynasty came very late in life. Growing up, I saw her having all these mediocre jobs.

She sent me a Polaroid of her on set in a swamp, being eaten by some terrible papier-mâché ants. At the bottom she wrote, ‘This is what your mother is doing to put food on the table.’ She was a working mum. We didn’t live in a 1950s paradise where one income was enough. She’s still inexhaustible.

Champion other women.

I spent two years working as a counsellor for victims of domestic violence. Then I started doing an event every year: the United Nations Elimination Of Violence Against Women Day.

Mum came to the march we did in Bristol two years ago and she spoke and was amazing. Being a woman has been a challenge since the time of Eve. We need to stand up even taller and work harder.

When it comes to men and relationships, let’s say it’s been a learning curve for both Mum and me.

But all’s well that ends well. She’s found her Percy (Gibson, Joan’s fifth husband) and I’ve found my Nicky (Gilador, her second husband who she married in 2016), and along the way we’ve learned what we needed to about what love is, and we both found our home in the right men eventually.

Mum has always been there for me when the chips were down,she’s mopped up my tears, and there have been many times when I’ve gone back home after one relationship or another has fallen through.

You need to try on different hats in life to find the one that fits.

The first thing I wanted to be, at 17, was a poet. But I was told that wasn’t a proper career and I couldn’t. So instead I got into rock bands and used my poetry in my lyrics. I’ve been a tape operator, a runner, a journalist and a columnist.

It’s been an incredible life so far. I’d love my new book to give people pleasure, but I’ll keep writing regardless. I do it for love, not to win accolades. The only career advice Mum ever gave me was, ‘Don’t go into acting!’ Luckily, I never wanted to.

Widen your vocabulary.

One of my favourite memories of Mum is when I sat down for dinner with my brother and our nanny, and Mum was on her way out that evening. She inspected a slightly dirty place mat and said, ‘Oh my God, they are encrusted with food!’

I remember thinking, ‘Wow! “Encrusted”, what an amazing word.’ She has an incredible grasp of language and vocabulary. As a child she used to read the dictionary under her bedsheets. She was always reading stories when I was little, and Dad too.

Have high standards at home.

I have towels in my bathroom that I call ‘show towels’, because people aren’t actually allowed to use them. My husband laughs at me, but I grew up in a beautiful home and you mirror the sort of upbringing you’ve had.

Mum has the most beautiful manners, class and sophistication. There’s not a lot of that around. It comes down to respecting yourself and wanting to be the best you can.

You’ve got to suffer to be beautiful.

That’s what I remember Mum telling me as a child when I was wriggling around in the chair as she did my hair one time. I was dressed as Shirley Temple, with Mum curling my hair in rags like they used to.

I squealed as she put them in quite tightly. She told me to pipe down! Growing up I would watch in admiration and awe as she put on her make-up.

Never, ever go to bed with make-up on.

Mum wouldn’t, and neither would I or my daughter. I’m very serious about the products I put on my face, and I wouldn’t dream of going to bed without cleansing first. Urghhh!

We would have to be SO drunk not to do that. I feel lucky I have inherited my mum’s skin and cheekbones.

We are much more open about sex education today than my parents were.

They weren’t the most comfortable in terms of having open chats. In fact, I used to pull out Auntie Jackie (Collins, the bonkbuster queen)’s books and find all the naughty bits to learn these things!

I was allowed to read Jackie’s books and watch Mum’s racier films, because I’m from a family of artists and we are open-minded. When my dad was dying of cancer he let my brother photograph him without any clothes, so people could understand that process. When you’re an artist everything is up for grabs

.

I’d rather be having sex than writing about it!

There is one chapter in my book that sounds racy called And Then He F**ked Me Until The Condom Broke. But I haven’t written any sex scenes. I’m not that kind of writer. I write about characters who love talking about sex, though.

There are quite a lot of red-blooded women who are sensually and sexually plugged in. I used to work as a sub editor on For Women magazine, remember that? I loved it, as I think the male body is a beautiful thing, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look at a sexy man’s torso.

The secrets of Tara Arkle’s favourite photo

Here I am with my daughter Miel when she was tiny, and my mum. Miel is now 22 and has moved out of our home in Somerset and I miss her desperately. I’m madly in love with both my children. As well as Miel, I have my son Weston, who’s 17. Enjoy your kids when they’re little, because there soon comes a day when they say, ‘See ya!’. I’m already eager for grandkids, I love little babies.

But they look at me with shock whenever I say I’m ready to be a granny! And my husband tells me to shut up. It’s part of the life cycle, though. Mum LOVES babies, and they always gravitate towards her.

Mum is famously glamorous, but there’s much more to her. A big part of our year is holidaying together in the south of France.

We play a game like charades, we chat around the table, we’re very casual and have fun. At Christmas Mum hand-makes the baubles for the tree out of ribbons and balls. She’s very creative. There really is no one else like my mum, she’s just an icon.

More On

Joan CollinsJackie CollinsSex tips