Gwyneth Paltrow knew exact moment marriage was over after ignoring signs for years
Gwyneth Paltrow opened up on the exact moment she knew her 13-year marriage to Chris Martin was officially over and how the couple dealt with the situation
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Gwyneth Paltrow has revealed the exact moment she knew her marriage to Chris Martin was over.
The actress opened up about how she decided her high-profile 13-year marriage to the Coldplay star had come to an end after she ignored signs their relationship wasn’t right for years.
The former couple were celebrating her 38th birthday on a lavish cottage break in Tuscany, Italy, when it all started to unravel.
Gwyneth revealed she often hid from the truth about her broken marriage at first, until she could no longer do so.
She said although they shared a love for similar things, they didn’t quite fit together.
Writing in Vogue about her broken relationship, Gwyneth explained: “I don’t remember which day of the weekend it was or the time of day. But I knew – despite long walks and longer lie-ins, big glasses of Barolo and hands held – my marriage was over.
“What I do remember is that it felt almost involuntary, like the ring of a bell that has sounded and cannot be undone. The inadvertent release of a helium balloon into the sky. I tried to quell that knowing, to push it far down.
“I tried to convince myself it had been a fleeting thought, that marriage is complicated and ebbed and flowed. But I knew it. It was in my bones.”
After reality hit, Gwyneth and Chris announced their “conscious uncoupling” to the public – an idea introduced by their therapist.
Gwyneth didn’t quite understand their new approach, but she and Chris wanted to do everything right for their children to avoid hurting them.
Their conscious uncoupling was then announced on a Goop newsletter.
She continued: “Between the day that I knew and the day we finally relented to the truth, we tried everything. We did not want to fail. We didn’t want to let anyone down. We desperately didn’t want to hurt our children. We didn’t want to lose our family.”
“I was intrigued, less by the phrase, but by the sentiment. Was there a world where we could break up and not lose everything? Could we be a family, even though we were not a couple? We decided to try,” she added.
While they navigated this new approach, the actress admitted that there were “great days and terrible days” but the two remained focused on their goal.
Despite the online hate they received, the exes seem to have figured it out for themselves.
The Goop founder is now even questioning herself on how they did it.
She continued: “It’s very different for every couple but, for me, it meant, more than anything, being accountable for my own part in the dissolution of the relationship.
“There existed aspects of myself I was trying to heal through this relationship that I wasn’t honest with myself about. I had been blind, guarded, invulnerable, intolerant. I had to admit that and be brave enough to share it.”
The star added that couples “need forgiveness in spades”.
Gwyneth said: “There are, of course, exceptions, but in most cases, a relationship is 50/50. It’s just much more convenient to be the hurt one, so you never have to look at your own s**t.”
Following her first-hand experience, she is encouraging couples to let go of spite and to hold onto the feeling of love that originally spurred on the relationship.
“You loved your ex once and you probably still do, so keep those great qualities of theirs close to your heart,” she wrote.
“Which leads me to the final and potentially most radical point: it’s OK to stay in love with the parts of your ex that you were always in love with. In fact, that’s what makes conscious uncoupling work. Love all of those wonderful parts of them.”
Gwyneth admitted despite their uncoupling, Chris was always meant to be in her life.
“I know my ex-husband was meant to be the father of my children, and I know my current husband is meant to be the person I grow very old with,” she wrote in reference to her television producer husband Brad Falchuk.
She wrote: “Conscious uncoupling lets us recognise those two different loves can coexist and nourish each other.”
Chris and Gwyneth officially divorced in 2016, and she went on to marry Brad in 2018.
Meanwhile, Chris has since been linked to Dakota Johnson.
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