Pointless star Richard Osman’s ‘cold’ reunion with dad who abandoned him at age of nine

Pointless legend Richard Osman has a strained relationship with his father, who walked out when he was just a child and left him and his brother to be raised by their mother

Richard Osman had a happy childhood until one devastating day which changed his life forever.

The Pointless legend, who has already filmed his final ever episode after announcing his decision to leave, was just nine-years-old when his dad walked out.

Richard and his brother Mat Osman, is a bass guitarist and founding member of one of the biggest Britpop band Suede, were raised by their hard-working single mum.

"It was the worst thing that ever happened to me," he told The Mirror back in 2014. "He just left and I didn’t see him again for 20 years – that’s hard.

"When you’re a kid growing up you’re all right so long as you have a parent who loves and cares for you. It is only when you get older that you realise you really missed that male role model.

"It derails you and it takes a long time to get back on track. It takes you a lot longer to mature and find yourself.

"Everyone has hard times, it’s just how you respond to them. Adversities when you’re growing up are the things that make you, sometimes they become a strength. But it’s never good, it’s always awful."

Richard Osman grew up without his father

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Richard vividly remembers being sat down by his father, David Osman, who confessed that he had fallen in loved with someone else and was leaving.

Speaking about his upbringing in The Big Issue’s Letter To My Younger Self by Jane Graham in November last year, the Pointless star recalled the upsetting moment.

"I find it hard when I'm looking back at my childhood to have my dad in it in any form. Maybe he's sort of there in my head, I suppose, but he's definitely not in my heart.

"I remember very clearly when I was nine, and my world was a fairly great place, and I walked into the front room, he was there, my mum was there, my grandmother was there, which was weird, though of course I realised later that was for moral support, and they just said, 'Look, your dad is in love with somebody else and he's leaving.'

"I just thought, 'Riiight, okay.' And he left and his entire side of the family never spoke to us again."

Richard, who is now 51, said his dad’s departure took its toll on him, leaving him going in a "slightly different direction" as he grew up.

He continued: "I went off course, which is understandable, because I had to find a way to fix the pain. And everyone else's pain, which of course I couldn't do.

"I focused entirely on protecting myself, being overly careful about everything."

"Listen, we all have trauma and I had a much lesser trauma than a lot of people have," he added.

"It's our ability to deal with trauma that's the important thing, and I dealt with it very badly, and this was 1979, when no one talked about such things. You got maybe a couple of days off school and then it was, 'Right, let's get on with things.'

"Looking back now, I think everything up to age nine, that is the real me. It took me many years, but eventually I found that again and that's how I feel now."

Richard's mother, Brenda Wright, struggled to make ends meet but raised both lads by herself.

He told The Mirror in 2014: "We never had any money or a car. I’m the most middle class man in Britain now, but I was never brought up with houses and foreign holidays. It must have been so hard for mum, raising us on no money.

"But you don’t need to be middle class and have money to succeed. You need a parent who is engaged, pushes you and understands how to do well.

"I don’t buy any of this nonsense about kids in single parent homes and how awful that is. In the main, you’re fine if you have a parent that loves you."

Richard finally met up with his father two decades after he walked out on the family, but he didn’t feel any connection.

Richard had a 'cold' reunion with his father

When asked if it broke his heart, he admitted: "Of course. But the heart doesn’t lie. It would be lovely to have that father-son relationship, but there isn’t a connection.

"If you haven’t seen your dad for 20 years you expect something and I would have loved it if we could have been best buddies.

"I’m thankful I have the relationship I now have with my dad. He’s a perfectly nice fella – I think he’s just one of those people who married the wrong person – but I don’t feel it in my heart. Which is sad."

Richard, who is grateful for the soft and caring maternal side in his family, met up with his dad at one of his uncles' 50th wedding anniversaries.

"I'm going to take the kids, they should really meet the rest of this family," he thought at the time, but said the reunion was "cold".

He added: "The other side of my family fortunately, my mum's side, are completely the opposite. Loving and open. So, I did all right. I think if I was talking to my younger self, I would say, 'You know what? You're a Wright, not an Osman.

"You'll live like a Wright and you'll have the same sort of career and life and kindness and happiness as a Wright.' And that would be a massive relief to the younger me."

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