Phil Schofield's incredible reminder of coming out journey that he keeps with him always
After years of debilitating turmoil over his sexuality, Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby were confronted with a poignant sign that gave him hope
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When Phillip Schofield married wife Stephanie 27 years ago, he thought they would be together forever.
But five years ago their world was torn apart when Phil, 58, realised he was gay.
The revelation sent a guilt-ridden Phil's mental health into a tailspin as he fought to find a way to make sure no-one got hurt - least of all Steph and their daughters Molly, 27, and Ruby, 24.
For a long time, Steph was the only one who knew and bravely fought to keep her troubled husband afloat as his weight plummeted to below 10st.
But, as Phil reveals in his new autobiography Life's What You Make It, those around him knew something was drastically wrong.
This Morning's chef Gina D'Acampo was one of the first to notice when he spotted Phil stood staring at his feet in the middle of the studio for a whole two minutes.
Phil's own mum Pat feared he was going blind after years of complaining about floaters in his eyes, while This Morning's head honcho Martin Frizell thought the star was terminally ill.
His turmoil was so great that he once had to run off set mid segment to throw up, while on another occasion Phil was in such a state that he couldn't even go to work and instead hid out at his London flat.
Eventually, he realised he needed to share the burden of his fears with one person outside the family - his long-time co-star Holly Willoughby.
"One day I knew I had to tell her, because I needed her. I needed her advice and her wisdom and I needed her to have my back at work if I faltered," he wrote.
For some time, Holly too had suspected something was wrong and had begged Phil to open up. Finally ready, he invited her to his dressing room and told her everything.
"I knew she would be incredible. She was so much more than that," he said of his colleague and best friend.
But it was after the chat that the pair encountered a poignant sign that gave Phil hope that everything might just work out.
And he was so moved by what he found lying on the floor outside his door that he keeps the item in his wallet to this day.
He continued: "After I confided in her and after the hugs, I opened my dressing-room door. Perfectly positioned on the floor outside was a pristine white feather. She picked it up and gave it to me.
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