Lottie Tomlinson went through 'dark time' dealing with death of mum and sister
Louis Tomlinson's sister Lottie has discussed the intense grief she felt after the double loss of her mother Johannah Deakin and sister Félicité Tomlinson
Social media influencer Lottie Tomlinson has emotionally revealed her heartbreak over losing her mum and sister.
The 21-year-old sister of One Direction star Louis Tomlinson lost both her mother Johannah Deakin and sister Félicité Tomlinson in the space of three years.
Now Lottie has opened up about how she has coped since these heartbreaking losses in a new column for OK! magazine.
Addressing the death of her mother in 2016, Lottie says she was prone to bottling her feelings up.
She writes: "The first year was a really dark time. I lost my confidence, didn't want to do anything and wasn't myself at all.
"I wasn't mature enough to go out and get help. I wanted to deal with it on my own.
"I thought, 'I’ll be fine. I can get through it.' I felt that getting any outside help was admitting defeat."
The situation with Lottie's mental health only worsened with the sudden death of her sister Félicité Tomlinson in March 2019 due to an accidental overdose, prompting her to decide to seek professional help.
She continues: "I decided I was going to try therapy, and I’m so grateful for that decision. It has made such a difference to my life, and my grief has been a totally different experience.
"Therapy means I get an hour to sit and divulge all my feelings whenever I need to. It is my time to talk about my mum and sister. I feel a lot lighter after a session."
After finding such success with her supportive therapist, Lottie joined bereavement charity Sue Ryder as an ambassador.
Sue Ryder offers six free sessions with a counsellor to help those in need.
Lottie adds: "It’s given me the chance to help other people, which is something I wanted to do from quite early on.
"It’s been such a big part of my grieving as it’s turned something negative into a positive. I get so many messages from people saying that they are going through the same thing and that I've helped them. That means a lot to me."
Finally, Lottie admits that while she is appreciative of the time and fond memories with her late mother and sister, her emotions go through ebbs and flows, with sometimes there being dark days.
She explained: "I’d be on holiday and having a laugh, then I’d think, 'I shouldn't be doing this.' I’d feel bad on my mum and sister.
"I've learnt now that they’d want me to have fun and enjoy my life. I’m going to have those dark times but if I’m lucky enough to be having a good week,I need to appreciate it."
Thankfully, Lottie also has the support of her One Direction star big brother and a solid friendship group to lean on.
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