Lady Gaga 'hated' being a famous pop star and had 'suicidal thoughts' every day
Lady Gaga has opened up about the effects of fame on her life and how being in the spotlight was difficult to handle as she struggled with her mental health
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Lady Gaga has opened up about her mental health struggles and battle with depression as she found being famous difficult.
The 34-year-old pop star has spoken about how she has been on a journey to find herself again after she found her alter ego was taking her further away from her former self as Stefani Germanotta.
Speaking in an emotional interview with Lee Cowan on CBS Sunday Morning, she said: "My biggest enemy is 'Lady Gaga', that's what I was thinking. My biggest enemy is her.
"You can't go to the grocery store now. If you go to dinner with your family somebody comes to the table, you can’t have dinner with your family without it being about you, it’s always about you. All the time it's about you."
Gaga was promoting her new album, Chromatica, and said that the songs offered an insight into the darker side of her life, including her mental health struggles.
She continued: "There's not one song on that album that’s not true, not one."
Citing the lyrics "pop a 911," she said it is a "reference to the medication I had to take when I used to panic because I'm 'Lady Gaga.' "
When asked what was "so dark" about that time she said she had "totally gave up on [herself]."
Gaga continued: "I hated being famous, I hated being a star, I felt exhausted and used up.
"It's not always easy if you have mental issues to let other people see. I used to show, I used to self-harm, I used to say, ‘Look I cut myself, see I’m hurting.’ Because I didn’t think anyone could see because mental health, it’s invisible."
Gaga also said she would have suicidal thoughts "every day."
She added: "I didn't really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family.
"That was an actual real thought and feeling, why should I stick around?"
"I lived in this house while people watched me for a couple of years to make sure that I was safe."
Gaga send that being treated like an object made it hard and that "gentrification" was a trigger for her unhappiness.
She continued: "If I'm at the grocery store and somebody comes up very close to me and puts a cellphone right in my face and starts taking pictures, just total panic, full-body pain. I'm braced because I'm so afraid.
"It’s like I'm an object, I'm not a person."
Gaga said that she was born to make music and despite all that she has been through, she had to keep going with it.
She concluded: "I swear on my future unborn children, I don’t know why but I have to."
The release of her new album has been a breakthrough for Gaga and she said that it has helped her find "a way to love [herself] again."
She said: "I don't hate Lady Gaga anymore. Now I look at this piano and I go, ‘Ugh, my god, my piano, my piano that I love so much.
"My piano, that lets me speak, my piano that lets me make poetry. My piano that’s mine.’”
MirrorCeleb